Drivers

We need to discuss drivers in Minnesota. Or just driving in general.

Merging is not....IS NOT a personal challenge. Why do people refuse to let somebody in traffic? Its traffic. Is there a prize if you get there first? Is it a superiority thing? a control issue? Merging is a team effort. some people slow down, some speed up, we all get in. Its the zipper theory.

Turn signals - People, I can not stress this enough, they are there for a reason. Most people think there to tell everyone around them , " Get the hell out of the way, I might do something !" This in fact is not the intended use of turn signals. Turn signals are meant to make others around you aware of your intent.
1. Make sure its safe and clear to do so.
2. Signal your intent.
3. If its safe to do so, proceed.

Now...this is where it gets tricky. What if theres a car there?
If you answered "Slam on the brakes and swing it hard!" or "Just go, they'll move" You are a typical Minnesota driver. If you answered " Let off the gas pedal slightly" or "Giver 'er a little gas " to complete the move, you are a rare species.

There are variables in driving in Minnesota. Such as
"Jonny Rocket" - The 18-25 year old guy on a crotch rocket, who isn't trying to go someplace, hes trying to get to the finish line and your just in his way.

"Jonny Nitro" - Who usually drives an import. You know these guys, little tiny cars with exhaust loudeners. I don't know much about cars, but apparently, the sped of your little ride is determined by the size of your accessories. For example If you have a tachometer the size of a beach ball, and an exhaust you can hear for blocks and blocks away, your the bees knees. I mean really, god forbid you leave the house without everyone in a 10 square block area knowing. (Extra credit for flame stickers and NOS stickers.)

"Jonny Thunder" - These guys are the guys who drive the gigantic pick ups. They usually have a sticker that reads "Loud pipes save lives" Or as I like to say, " Loud pipes = small penis" Gotta love these guys. When they spend $40,000 on a truck $15,000 in tires $5,000 on a lift $5,000 on exhaust loudeners $3,000 on a shiny red paint job $2,000 in stereo stuff, and who knows how much in the 6 mpg tank. And whats he doing this weekend? off roading? Mudding? 4x4ing? No, hes at home rebuilding his garage......truck doesn't fit any more.

And then there are.....to stay PC, "recent arrivals". The road signs are in 1 language, the drivers test are in 13. Theres a basic problem there. There has got to be a way to communicate just the basics.

The last 3 go into another section.
THE LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING - P A S S I N G ! Not driving the same speed as your average farm tractor. I know, I know " I'm doing the speed limit !" Yes you are, IN THE PASSING LANE ! Semi drivers that drive in the left lane....I hate you.

Breath......1-2-3-4-5-6
I'm better now.


Ice road truckers...pfffffts ! Get a reality show about driving in Minnesota in February.
I'm not going to go into woman drivers. With the texting, phone on the ear, makeup in hand.
Go ahead, call me a sexist, its true ! Most men don't do their makeup in the car.

I can see your butt!

What is the deal with young men wearing their pants around their thighs?Why do I, or you for that matter, need to see someone's butt?It seems to be a fashion thing? Or hopefully just some stupid trend, but where did it start? Who is responsible for this? Most importantly, how can we stop it?Is it just me? am I the only only one who doesn't get this and wants it to stop?Why is it just young men? Why aren't young girls out walking around with their pants below their ass's? Is that unacceptable?I think I first noticed baggy pants when rollerblading was all the rage. Kids would wear their knee pads under their baggy pants. Seem legit enough. Safety first right. But more recently, I have been watching cops ( I absolutely love cops! All sorts of stupid people gathered together in one 30 min. show. You just can't beat that.) and noticing the people who try to run are pumping wildly with their one arm, and trying to hold up their pants with the other. That's just quality entertainment !Another bit of good entertainment is being behind one of these fools in line at a store. Cell phone in one hand, belt loop in the other. I think to myself, "0o0o0o....What's he gonna do? end the call? hell no, at 1:30 in the afternoon on a weekday, in wal-mart....oh no....That's probably a business call. Is he going to drop the belt loops and have his pants hit the floor? " The suspense is getting to me at this point. More then likely its, cell phone on the shoulder and a handful of crumpled 20's and 50's. Then " Yo dog, lemme hit you up lata" and the transaction is completed. No partial nudity whatsoever.What's the point? Why for Petes sake would you want to show whoever might be looking in your general direction your butt? Especially if your some skinny young man WITH NO BUTT ?If its a fashion thing, I would like to see it cross the gender barrier.That's all I'm sayin.